"Awww, man!" - snapped Swiper, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

My very own sisters and mother confessed to never clicking on the music links I post, and it just killed me. Flat out, they may as well had just beaten me over the head with this.

(from the movie Moonrise Kingdom. Particularly fabulous one, if I can add. Shout out to Kat P for purchasing my own copy for me.)

But despite that kindness, she doesn't listen to my musical tidbits. But whatever.

Who needs family, right?

I'm persevering and

ADDING A LINK ANYWAYS

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hl6GnmvMMA

This is a lovely song by a wonderful group called the National. The lead singer's voice just melts my butter.

 

It's been awhile since I had a good blogging sesh, and since I'm a Mormon girl with limited amount of social encounters, I'm pretty sure it's required of me to update. I mean, my public needs me, right?

 

So Draper's been a downright fiesta. I have had some AMAZINGLY wonderful times, and it's only July. I have a whopping four remaining weeks to fill with even more. It was definitely different than what I expected. I was pretty certain I'd meet some gorgeous granola snowboarder with an established career and a desperate urge to take me to the nearest Temple, marry me, and pay for my school, but spoiler alert, I couldn't find him. Rats.

 

 

But instead, I got to to know myself even more. It's crazy how you can live with yourself so long, letting everyday life take over your thoughts instead of thinking about who you are, and who you want to be. And even though I didn't smash any marathon records or write any religious novels, I made some progress and I can say that I can be content being alone. Leaving Logan and my established social circles made me realize I'm not as Miss Independent as I thought, and I lean on my friends a TON. So shout out to those wonderful cats that support me, because living without them was a bit rough at first. But I got to the point where I didn't have a life-depending urge to be on social networks with people thinking about me and commenting on my junk at all times. And it rocks. I still sometimes think I'm friendless and the bag lady from the Labrynth, but then, I say, "Trace, you're tired, and hungry. So you relax, girl, and just wait until your brain takes off it's Thespian mantle." And guess what. It works. And I realize I have a million friends.

Or at least, like, five really good ones.

So anyways. I've just really gotten to enjoy the company of myself. I mean look at that face. And that hair. Stunning likeness. I am the bag lady. Well. I wish. Then I'd have so much stuff. And I'd roll around in it.

 

So anyways again. Draper's been awesome, especially because of the time I've had to spend with my fabulous family. I'm typing this with nails covered in FOUR different colored polishes, and even a bunch of jewels that Toria stuck on a few of them. Audrey just came down to ask if I could tuck her in, and she whisperedly showed me the two piles of clothes she laid out as options for her and Ellie's outfits tomorrow. Haha I love it. Families are Forever, everyone. And I couldn't be more grateful, because even though we fight and are horribly mean to each other, I NEVER have as much fun with anyone as I do with my four brothers and sisters, their spouses, children, and dogs. And who can even forget my parents. I can't even handle how obsessed I am with them. I'm grateful for a gospel that is so family centered. To learn more about how families have eternal natures, visit mormon.org. :)

 

It will be hard to leave Salt Lake to return to Logan, but I'm excited. Logan is my home away from home, and one of the most beautiful places on earth. I'm a proud Aggie and can't wait to keep trudging through my mess of an education haha.

 

All in all, it's a wonderful life, as George Bailey says.

Not my periodontist, the other George Bailey.

 

 

 

 

A verbal diarrhea so intense and forceful as to equal any fire extinguisher or dam or playdoh toy pushed to its' emotional and physical limits

I've been thinking about this topic so very much lately, and as you know, thoughts in Tracie's brain don't sit there for too long before being splattered into the letters that form my very own blog.

This song is a MUST if you wish to read any further. Under penalty of having to suffer in the Army of the Undead that serves under Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You heard their sigh when finally released, you
DO NOT want any of that.
Snow Patrol - Open Your Eyes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk1Q9y6VVy0

It started probably the first time I heard "So this is love" in Cinderella or the first time I registered my Dad brushing his mustache out of the way so he could kiss my mom everyday as he came home from work. But I've slowly been spoon fed via airplane sounds the finest of pureed foods: not bananas, but the most cliched, sung about, written about topic in the world. Lurve. LOVE. Or Lima Oscar Victor Echo, for those of you in the armed forces.

So yeah, it's always been on my mind, but I think that it's a requirement as you hit your 20's or sit through a Young Women's lesson or watch a good episode of the Office that it takes over your brain. I've often wondered the amount of good my thoughts could have done had they been preoccupied with something other than who likes who and how to get someone. I probably could have solved every Encyclopedia Brown case ever, WITHOUT looking at the back of the book.

But seriously. Holy buckets, Charlie. I am hitting my full stride as a Mormon girl in Utah and am so infatuated with infatuation. I am tickled pink to see anyone fortunate enough to be in the process. It's such a wonderful experience. The beginning, the duration, and even the end. Being brave, clueless, trusting, and sacrificing. It's so fun. And ideally, all of the cycles you go through end in a final resting place in the Shire at Bag End, with adorable curly haired little girls and a wonderful Sam to close the door behind you.

And I know that it doesn't end there. That's it's this crazy battle that 50% of couples lose. But that in itself, proves how worth it it is. You earn every ounce of your joy that you collect. Shout out to my Ma and Pa, they work tirelessly, endlessly to keep it going. I see it, and appreciate it so very much. I know they aren't perfect, and there's nothing funnier than my mom yelling "lalala!" in the bathroom as my Dad tries to argue who gets a Christmas card and who doesn't, but they still make inappropriate comments and giggle. They still have date nights. They still care about surprising each other and doing the little things to make the other happy. It's so inspiring, and I love them for their example of selfless love for me.

It's everywhere. And it's so exciting. I'm excited for the cycles I'm about to go through and eventually, the final one that will make ME, the most indecisive person ever, crumple up all other options and make my choice.

I'm excited. :)

And yes, you can judge me and make fun of me and call me an 11 year old girl named Victoria with braces and false vibrato and high hopes for love, but I know one of those girls and she's gorgeous and I'm proud to be in her horse loving club, ok? H8rz gonna h8.

Comes and Goes

Today's Tracie in Charge! soundtrack:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0LNhIaGAUw

It's been quite the exhilarating week. We're winding down to the last six days before the semester is over and I live outside of Logan for the first time in three years.
I'm ecstatic.
I love Logan. It's been the most wonderful home. I love the protection of such a gorgeous valley tucked away from the world. I love how EVERYTHING is within 15 minutes of anywhere. But I'm ready to go back to the big city life where I can swing my briefcase, talk on my bluetooth, and yell at cab drivers. Or I'll settle for Draper.

This week, as I said, has been exhilarating. Full of pulling myself out of ditches, figuratively and metaphorically, scraping the bottom of the pan for motivation, and wonderful friends and family. I'm so glad that it's over.

After this week, I'm off to a fresh start. I hope to accomplish a few things this summer! This is kind of a goal I'm ashamed of, but I really want to date a lot. I shouldn't be ashamed of it, but it's pretty similar to those situations where you really want some ice cream, but then one person tells you you can't have any, so you feel sheepish in asking for any from anyone for awhile. But just because one person couldn't give me my Bear Attack chocolate ice cream doesn't mean I can't have some. The independent, feminist Tracie... is trying. I even forced my number on a kid I met at a dance party. Poor thing. He probably went sterile just looking at me. (*guess that movie, I'm not just being gross*)

I've decided a few things. Losing that Bear Attack kinda shook me good, as those of you who had the great misfortune to read some of my emo posts from months ago know. But, these things I've decided.

I think I'm pretty. Because people tell me I look like her, and she's beautiful. Most of the time.

I think I'm witty. Because I make up jokes in line at Pretzelmaker for National Pretzel Day. And they're darn good ones. (Not at all, but I've found that deep within humor's cloaks, there's a pocket that holds the things that are so stupid and not funny, they're the funniest things to strut the earth.) (Perhaps not, maybe I just entertain myself way too thoroughly).

I think I'm nice. Because of reasons I don't want to talk about. For fear of inflating my head and forcing people to look at my good deeds. Also maybe the list isn't as long as I think and then I'll make my 7:00 appointment of self-loathing with the Grinch. Hopefully I'll cancel it again.

And let's be honest. What else could anyone want. Good grades? Who needs em. Money? Got loads of it. Maturity? I went through that program in 5th grade. So nothing's stopping me, clearly.

I've definitely found there are pros and cons for being single and in a relationship. But alas. I think I'm ready for a relationship again. As much as it's hard for me to admit, I really miss having someone. Sure, I'm fine by myself. I have a lot of fun and definitely utilize my time as an unattached player. But I really liked the way it made me. I loved having someone to make happy, to make me happy, to talk to, and plan with. I felt more selfless and definitely spent my time more wisely, and always tried to put my very best self forward. Single, I feel a bit like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, hanging around a sewer eating pizza til I absolutely have to get up and go save someone. Or go to class. Or go to work. And dang my Preparation for Celestial Marriage Prep class to heck, because all it did was pour gas on my fire. I'm so excited. But don't worry. I know I'm only 21. And have no prospects. And will definitely take the cautious route once I do manage to get a couple. :)

So let's all hope I survive the next week and live to force my number on another poor unprepared man. :)

Tracie

I made a reference to the pre-existent Tracie a few posts ago, and I didn't quite get my fill of the idea.
So here's another self evaluation; I'm going to set goals for this summer and hopefully, within a few months, I'm a little bit closer to that little lady I'm intended to become.

I have the enormous blessing of being young, independent (not really, but for dignity's sake, just run with it), and full of big ideas. The greatest piece of advice I've ever received says that I must reach for things that bring me to heights of honor that I am "most capable of achieving". Pretty fortune cookie-esque, I know.

I am easily overwhelmed with options. I always get Twist in my Kong Cone so I don't have to miss out on the chocolate or vanilla. Sadly, life isn't as generous as Macey's, and I'm given the next sixty years to decide on flavors that I'm supposed to enjoy for eternity. A friend and I were discussing how despite this being the greatest age in our lives, it's the most critical time. What we do now determines the rest of our lives. I see this, and instantly, my feet sweat. My tummy drains and I feel like melting into the folds of my bed and never allowing any cleaner to lift me from my sheets. Not even a toothbrush with carpet cleaner, which can do pretty much anything, luckily for my white carpet. But it's how it is. So we're all playing the hot and cold game with Heavenly Father, tripping over things and reaching for different corners, waiting for a sharp rap on our hands or a shout of encouragement. Good thing it's a fun game, or I'd sit out.

I'm three years into college. And I still don't know where the world wants me. That'll give you a nice tummy full of anxiety ridden ulcers, each with individual scrunched foreheads. And once I figure out where I'll fit best, I need to get there. I'm not too worried about that part, though, because once I have a list written down in front of me, I take too much pleasure in scribbling out things to not finish it. So I just need to patient, and live life with open eyes, hearts, and ears, ready to hear, "Warmer! Trace, you're getting hotter! Sprint!"

You readers also need to patient as I slowly work through each piece of information that makes it into my brain, slowly stew about it for days, blog about it, wait for comments on it, and finally do it. Sorry, millions of viewers. I know it's frustrating to watch idiots open doors in horror movies, but it's gotta happen if we're to get our terror fancies tickled.

One day, I'll be 60 years old, have millions of gorgeous, brilliant children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, have a garden, teach piano lessons, spend all day outside, and the windows down when I'm inside, a book club, and date nights with my sweetheart.
I can't wait to have a piece of Heaven on Earth in my home with my family. And we'll fill it with screams about laundry, spitting in chocolate milk, overdue homework, and broken bones.
Til then, let's just listen to this song on repeat, yeah?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9AFMVMl9qE

Random post. I like to blog, I guess.

whaddup oprah!

I come to you from the Taggart Student Center computer lab, from the shadows of the everlasting hills.

I really have 20 minutes to kill because I'm a goon and forgot my Genetics textbook so I have nothing to do before my Chemistry class. So I'm going to *falsetto voice, vibrato aplenty* 

BLOOOOOOOOOOG!
Pronounced blaaaahhh-guh.

Been a decent while, I guess! Super stoked for the semester to end in THREE WEEKS! And as soon as that Genetics final is over at 9:30 am that Friday, I'm driving 105 miles per hour down the I-15 to get to my new residence in DRAPER!
Watch out, rich granolas. Imma graffiti West Side and Logan stuff all over your classy organic town. And bushwhack your mountains so thoroughly I will have ruined all other hikers for them.

Just try and stop me in your Sanuks.

This summer will be packed to the brim with Victoria, Brayden, Audrey, Ellie, Ashley, Johnny and Cash and Dusty. And maybe some of my sisters, too. I'm so excited.

Also, my dance concert's coming up in a week and a half. Exciting, I know. We're all just messes of dopamine here in Logan.

Also I can't stop listening to this song. It's beautiful. Watch for the H-E-double hockeysticks word at the beginning, though. Cuidado!

It's like a beautiful mix of Black Keys, Beatles, and a teeny bit of Pinback electronic goodness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H570ifQfpDk

Nuggets of kNowledge to Nibble oN

It's been a little over three months of singularity. Remember how it was kind of like three months of delivering a baby calf? The first two months were bloody, and the third month has been delivering the afterbirth/cleaning up/working out again to get fit to attract another stud to put another baby cow in my belly.
So here I am. And guess what. I'M OKAY.
I know, we're all enormously surprised and floored. But, even more enormously flooring is that

I LEARNED STUFF. 

Crazy cool stuff. I feel like I just graduated from Hogwarts after the most intense seven years of my life, and I am so ready to contribute to my Wizarding community. All my Professors are proud and wrote me the finest letters of recommendation. 

So now, to etch it into the plates of my life, I'm typing it into my blog where it will live forever and ever.

A LIST OF  WIZARDLY DIZARDLY STUFF ONE LEARNS AFTER A WONDERFULLY MAGICAL RELATIONSHIP

Kiss at every single stop light you come to. Because you can.

Mistakes are the goal. They reveal your true intentions and give you the great opportunity to apologize and forgive.

Balance your life. Still retain your other friendships, it's healthy to not spend every second together.

It's important to like each other's friends.

Sacrifice for each other. It's the enzyme that speeds reactions up with less energy.

Serve them at every opportunity. Just another substrate that can fit in the active site for previously stated enzyme.

Leave Facebook out of it. Ew. Nuff said.

The sooner you know their struggles and cons, the better.

But my favorite giblets of goodness I've acquired are these:

1. Almost everyone is awesome and someone you could potentially spend your life with. 

So you can afford to be picky.

2. Someone thought you were beautiful without any makeup on. When you were sobbing and blowing your nose in their sweater. When you said things you didn't mean. When they saw you make stupid decisions and hate yourself afterward. When you made yourself look like an idiot. When you were mad at them. When you hadn't showered for days and were sweating like the Paul you are. But mostly, when they find out who you really are. 

And if someone thought you were beautiful, you are.

And someone else will, too.

So look forward to them, and in the meantime, you don't need anyone but good music, good friends, good family, good activities, and good thoughts. 

Peace and blessins.

Couple good thoughts to have simmering...

 “Though I suffered then, as I look back now, I am grateful that there was not a quick solution to my problem. The fact that I was forced to turn to God for help almost daily over an extended period of years taught me truly how to pray and get answers to prayer and taught me in a very practical way to have faith in God. I came to know my Savior and my Heavenly Father in a way and to a degree that might not have happened otherwise or that might have taken me much longer to achieve. … I learned to trust in the Lord with all my heart. I learned to walk with Him day by day.” 
- Elder D. Todd Christofferson


Reinforced constantly during my own review of the years has been my knowledge that our prayers are heard and answered. We are familiar with the truth found in 2 Nephi in the Book of Mormon: “Men are, that they might have joy.”¹ I testify that much of that joy comes as we recognize that we can communicate with our Heavenly Father through prayer and that those prayers will be heard and answered—perhaps not how and when we expected they would be answered, but they will be answered and by a Heavenly Father who knows and loves us perfectly and who desires our happiness. Hasn’t He promised us, “Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answer to thy prayers”?
- President Monson "Consider the Blessings" Oct. 2012 General Conference