Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Habf: spoken with great exasperation, puffing up your cheeks to make a loud sound and stopping it by making a Mulan-full-of-breakfast face.

Meaning: Well, that sucked. Just kidding. That was a funny joke, huh.
Context: Habbbbbfffff on previous post.

Don't get me wrong, I know it was a genuine post. Extremely, almost too much so, honest. Our relationship was truly over. One week later, as we were trying to be friends again (because really, we are best friends, we couldn't lose our friendship on top of our benefits in the same day), I was starting to get bitter. Thinking about how mad I was that it could have worked. So I started shutting him off, and he decided we needed to have a massive talk in a Wendy's parking lot over frosties. Three hours later, and many much tears, we had talked every single detail of our rise and fall (thanks Faith and Tim) into the ground. So I told him that I'd give him another chance in a year or two, but that separation was best in the meantime.
Now that my bitterness was gone, we returned to friendship. I invited him to come on a hike/campout with my wonderful roommates and their friends, and we had an amazing time. It was so fun. But at the same time, it sucked. Which is why exes shouldn't be friends one week later. But it did. And on the ride home, we accidentally held hands.
I had so many thoughts. I was furious, confused, super wary, and just lonely. And I knew he was lonely. And I couldn't handle that. So we had another talk. But this time, it was the opposite. Where I had been the one sprinting with confetti streaming out of the sides of my mouth to the altar and dragging him behind me, he was the one sprinting. I couldn't believe that one week had changed his attitude. But he was so happy, excited, and just overcome. I never felt more worshiped in my life haha. I was still super scared though. I had given so much and left empty handed, I didn't want to do it again. So slow and steady, we're on again.
It has been amazing. I don't think I've ever been this happy. Kevin is one of the greatest men I have ever met, among men like my Dad and Bishop Elwood. So selfless, and he works so hard. We are truly best friends. For his birthday, we went on a six hour hike. And I loved that not one moment was silent. Eight months later, we still have so much to talk about. Religion, politics, friends, love, life, we talk about it all. And it's so fun. He thinks I'm hilarious. I think he's adorable. And just like that, we are back in a relationship. It's been about two months, and we've been so happy. Now I just need to learn how to balance everything else. School, dance, friends.
I really just need to learn how to retain all of my friendships now. Turns out, no matter how much you love people, there's still only 24 hours in a day, and you have to sacrifice to hang on to everything that you have to. So that's the great challenge of this month!
So that's all, friends. Hopefully that clears things up and keeps you from worrying about my broken relationships. Because I know you were.